In my Wainwrights Shoes by chris wainwright 
3. Stabbed in the Back

Bipolar 1 is cruel. People may be so badly damaged by its depressive
or manic symptoms that they are unable to continue their careers.

On my return to the family shoe business everyone seemed happy apart from my brother. Eight years younger we were complete
opposites and I think he wanted to be different to his older brothers and follow in his dads footsteps. He joined Wainwright & Sons
once after A levels but without any further experience. Rejecting further education was against fathers wishes but David usually got his own way. He disliked the shop floor so much called our sales patter 'bollo--s'. Even his father finally admitted that he lacked people skills. After a couple of years my depression was diagnosedas bipolar. Once on SSRI anti-depressants and lithium the effect was dramatic. I could have stayed
as a solicitor or formed my own wine sales company. That had always been on the cards until Dad forced me into the law.

I didn't try to return as a solicitor because I knew that the stigma of bipolar would make it difficult. On the other hand it was lucky for the businessbecause otherwise the Beaconsfield shop would have closed. The branch had been underperforming for many years and neither Dad nor David could work out why. Now on the correct meds my bipolar was completely stable and I was back to my normal self. Dad asked me to look into the situation at Beaconsfield and see if I could suggest anything. While I was ill I had worked with the manager and his young female staff and had concerns about his style.We met several times and agreed improvements had to be made at the shop. Out of the blue he handed in his resignation. I think he sensed that I'd already worked out the cause of the shops problems. After his departure Dad told me to take the store over. Immediately it went back into profit. I knew there'd been laziness but this hadbeen on a far larger scale than I'd have imagined. Dad said he didn’t know how I’d done it but all along I thinkhe knew the answer had been staring him in the face! What struck me was that although supposedly I had a'serious' mental illness I was better at judging and managing people than my codirectors. After my first year theshops annual turnover increased by almost 70% (£350,000 approx). As I guessed the Beaconsfield managerhad been doing next to nothing except fooling around running the business down. How could experienced businessmenlike my father and brother not realised? Any retailer could have quickly seen the problem by sending in a spy. That's basic and Davidshould explain why he failed.​Dad was never a great decision maker when the going got tough. Inconsistent at best he had the reputation of defending the devil.I never understood that myself. As the eldest child he bossed me completely but when the time came he was too lenient with David.As an example he unwisely agreed to let him builda computerised stock control system. This time-consuming task would distract him from the shop floor while withoutexperience he had to employ technicians. I objected because I could foreseea costly mistake. Having made my opinion clear David took it personally. Up to then David only had his father in the way. The youngest of fourI'd grown up with little but I knew the best for the company. I had upset David but without knowing it. Had we concentrated on our strengths we could have done well. With my traditional approach toshoe sales and staff management we could have made a good team. Jealousy can ruin familiy businesses ​After my success at saving the Beaconsfield shop Davids resentment and jealousy got worse. I remember very clearly an incident which confirmed it. On returning to Risborough one day I realised how obsessed he'd become. A customer said she’d missed me and hoped I was back for good! In the middle of the shop David cried out, "what’s wrong with me". The lady was so flustered she even began apologising to him ! I was horrified at his outburst and should have told father. David was obviously in need of therapy but in the meantime I had to bear the brunt of his inferiority complex. The cause of the problem was simple. Over the years I'd had lots of experience with people of all types. I wasn't an expert in conversation but I didnt struggle to hold my own because I enjoyed it. I was brought up by dad as a performer who could make people laugh. I enjoyed selling and chatting to customers felt perfectly natural as if I'd been born to it. With university, France, the army, law and sport I had some good stories and plenty to talk about. By the time I realised how much this upset David it was too late. he'd started teasing me for using long words! The problem became obvious even to our accountant so the three of us agreed if it got worse I could leave and set up my ownbusiness 'under the umbrella of Wainwrights’. That was a great reassurance because things did get worse. Although everyone agreedthat I should leave Dad and David refused to honourtheir agreement. They had me over a barrel and like an idiot I accepted there was nothing I could do about it at the time they had a free hand to take advantage of me. I should have stayed and made life difficult.I never received any contribution from Wainwrights towards my new business! David owes me a smallfortune having left the business for his benefit and to keep the peace. I hadn't even told any of the staff what had happened! Davidon the other hand lost no time in using my absence to run me downThings deteriorated when we began to negotiate my leaving package. Accountant brother Stephen acted as broker.I was soon told dad had made a ‘temporary’ will to protect David if he died before negotiations werecompleted. Dad had instructed R S, senior partner at my former employers to draw his will which even RSsaid was unfair. My mother agreed but had no say in the matter as father could lose his temper. It was obviousthis conflicted with our negotiations so RS should not have accepted instructions. I wondered why he shot off ina hurry when I once pulled up in Chinnor to say hello!I was at home all the time with the impossible job of trying to start a business we could live off but without funds.The only choice I had was to create an online shop.Stephen should have resigned his position because the will left me with nothing except my original 10% shareholding which in a privatecompany is next to worthless. David got away with it because I had trusted them to be fair. Instead he ran medown to staff, trade contacts and customers. I hate to think what other lies he told.I       Dad had been at a low ebb since mum died. When he passed it was clear I needed an experienced solicitor. I'd been hoping that SG my former colleague and Rs partner would act for me but as senior partner R refused to let him act presumably because R was compromised having drawn up dads will. SG was a determined litigator who fought hard and never liked to lose. I was very disappointed. SG suggested instead I ask my friend RH to represent me. I was reluctant but I couldn't persuade SG otherwise. I'd known RH for years but knew nothing about his litigation skills. He was not up to SG's standard. He agreed to take my case at a reduced rate and soon arranged a barrister who I met in chambers and was a huge let-down. Self-important she knew all about bipolar 'because of a relation with it' and without any further word she changed the subject! The innuendo was that she held my illness against me. She dismissed my suggestion of claiming against my brother because of his behaviour. She said the costs would be too high and the lawyers would be off buying 'new sets of ermine robes'. Demoralised I took her at her word. Not only did I have the upset of my parents deaths hanging over me as well and the worry of hiding my bipolar I had the added blow that the crux of my case was completely dashed. I never asked R why he accepted her opinion as she was a barrister! I have lost a forty year old friendship with a close acquaintance. We discussed at the outset what would happen if we fell out but we thought it unlikely. Unfortunately we have learnt the hard way not to mix business and pleasure. From that point to this my real concern is my wife and daughters. The nearest I came to generating an income was an eBay shop until I had to concede it was impossible. Like many people in a similar situation I don't take holidays and I spend as little on myself as I can. Without any doubt I know mum would want me to keep fighting for my rights against Wainwrights. She was totally different to my father and never held the illness against me. I've hardly said a word about her for the simple reason that dad was always in control of 'important' family decisions. I'm ashamed that he always had the final word and if necessary would resort to his 'steamroller' method.​​​Cheated out of my half share of Wainwrights Ltd I also had to sell my 25% share in the Beaconsfield trust property to Stephen. Unsurprisingly it was a difficult and unhappy time for me. Mum and dad both passed away in the most miserable of circumstances. The last happy family occasion I remember with them was my first Christmas back home from uni. My bipolar affected the rest and they never really recovered from the blow. Their high expectations of me were no longer. I'd been dads conversation piece and sales prop with customers all my life but the first depression was a disaster for him so that immediately changed Notes about Dads Will:-Shortly after dads death with the 'unfair' will in his favour David threatened to stop my salary. I went to the shop for the first and last time face to face. In the hearing of staff and customers he suddenly accused me of hitting dad in the face. An absolute lie he was never able to give me any additional details. I am pleased to say I have never hit him in my life and neither did dad ever hit me. To this day I've never been back to the shop because I would be putting myself at risk and I am sure people will understand me. After mum died dad remained in the family home in Manor Park Avenue with David and Alison as near neighbours helping him out of kindness. I will never accept that they didn't try to influence him. My sister Sandra described Alison as volatile. She certainly had some nerve barging in to our negotiations without asking. Helping dad was one thing but she was helping herself in the process too.​​Since this dispute began I have not spoken to David and Alison. I think their behaviour regarding my father, his will and other gifts could amount to undue influence, breach of contract and/or fraud. I hope they can reply properly to these matters because I am suspicious.​​when I called in the shop on that final visit, 'Pam', was ready tell me all about dads will until the other assistants ‘hushed’ her. That she knew anything about it was a breach of my personal information and I am entitled to know what she knew.I​David, Alison and family now own 100% of a profitable retail business and its freehold of which half I regard as mine. Along with Stephen and Sandra they also own the 188 maxwell Rd Beaconsfield property. If it wasn't for me Dad couldnt have purchased it and held it in trust for us children. He arranged a holding company C&D Properties (My and Davids  initials). Thanks to my my efforts my siblings get rent from the shoe shop every week. I had to sell my share in C&D to brother Stephen otherwise I had nothing to start my new business which they promised to fund.​

Stephen knew I was in trouble if dad died and it was one more reason why he avoids me. Without a shop of my own I would never be able earn a living. Anyone could see my vulnerability and my brothers will always have it on their consciences. I will never understand how my solicitor friend let me down so badly. Rather than stand up for me he encouraged me to give in. I remember at one stage he told me that Wainwrights, "didn't have a bottomless pit of money". Stephen was no better. He had conflicting interests between us all. He even purchased my share of the Beaconsfield property for himself knowing I had no choice but to sell it. He told me what an excellent investment which couldn't be matched. One thing I do know - if the roles had been reversed none of this would've happened. They know I am a stickler for fairness and that's a fact. For dads solicitor to call his will unfair makes me wonder about Stephen and Sandras sense of morality. They both gained from my loss and wanted a quick resolution.​ I would be surprised if there's been a worse family scandal than the injustice inflicted on me by my own father and siblings. I did nothing wrong and acted at all times in the best interests of Wainwright & Sons, my father and David. I left without objection to make life easy for them. In return my father cheated me out of bipolar prejudice stirred up by Alison and worsened by Davids hatred Notes about Dads Funeral:-​ I must mention Dads funeral if only because it was utterly dreadful. None of my siblings spoke to me. On arrival I was accosted by Judy Coles from Naphill along with her husband Peter. She once worked at the Risborough shop. Thinking they were offering condolences their purpose was to insult. I was on my own and hardly in the best frame of mind. Judy Coles had a 20-year-old complaint against Wainwright & Sons which she claimed was my fault when really they wanted to help David with his vendetta. I only knew her from the shop but had heard they were unpleasant. What people do for spite is pathetic. The day was more of the same obsessive depths my brother had sunk to. I was also snubbed by a former Wainwright & Sons Princes Risborough shoe shop manager. Colin Clarke from Virginia Water. He was another so-called family friend who David had got to! I was surprised that Colin, a bachelor, was so stupid. Only a fool would take sides in a family dispute without knowing the facts. People used to speculate about Clarke but I'd always respected his privacy. He had no reason to be insulting other than from what David told him. Leaving dads wake I noticed Chris Bailey who I’d known for years. A friend of David and the family his appearance was shocking. I've rarely seen anyone look so stressed. His face was ridden with guilt. I felt sorry for him he did not deserve to be dragged into such a situation. He'd obviously avoided Maria and myself too embarrassed to face us. His wife Corinne a nurse visited us and Chloe when she was intubated in hospital. Chris knows very well that I would never write like this unless I had to. Chris also knows Davids character better than most. I remember my shock at hearing how my brother treated their mutual friend Robin Chilcott. Robin was Alisons boyfriend until David waded-in and asked if he could take her out! The young man was crestfallen and immediately emigrated to Australia. I considered that to be the most disgraceful thing any man could do to a friend. Most decent men would regard that as a hanging offence which was further aggravated by the suspicion of gold digging. How true that seems to have become. What used to be a respected family business will be known as a monument to greed and spite. At least people know my side of events rather than the lies they have heard. My brother turned our elderly father against me because he did not have the guts to face me on his own. I may have a bipolar illness but I'm the better man with qualities far beyond his. Neither am I religous or jealous. I've spent years contending with a cruel illness without bitterness and I hope to do some good and help others